Hello??

iWrite because i can. Because i have two hands and ten (very beautiful) fingers that allow me to write. Because i have thoughts in my head that i want to write. Because i'm not quite sane. Because i am me :)

Friday, November 26, 2010

I Need New Friends

Or maybe i just need someone to talk to..
There's nothing wrong with my old ones but,
lately, I've had a lot of bad stuff going on in my life this past week, and then to top it off, another uncle of mine died.
I've spent every day since living from one minute to the next, barely eating, just surviving.
and no one noticed, that i had no appetite, that i was constantly moody, angry, confused and out of sorts, that i needed to talk, that i was lonely.
I needed to talk to someone... just to get these feelings out,
and that was when it hit me.
 I had no one to talk to.

Usually i had Kema, she is like my best friend and  i love her but she is the worst comforter ever. In situations like this, she doesn't see reason to be upset, she listens with half an ear, airs out her opinion and brings up irrelevant things, i know she means well, but i tend to avoid deep talking with her....

Then I had Adam, he was better at listening but really bad at advising as he would proceed to point out all the things that could be worse than they already were. I would have called him, but these days, he doesn't really give a rat's ass about me or my problems anymore..

Elekty, Nancy and Sesi, the ones i see everyday, i tried.... i honestly did. But they always end up thinking im joking.....
Everyone else i talk to outside these are just acquaintances, and i mean it in  all ways possible. People i see, smile at, make inconsequential small talk with , who barely know a thing about me and vice versa.
I needed to talk to someone so badly
i went through my phonebook, bbm contact list and skype.
How can someone have so many 'friends' and still no one to talk to??
Most people don't know i'm really emotional, i tend to write my problems out, but sometimes i need to talk too...
and i really needed to talk,
Actually, i still do...
so maybe i don't need new friends
maybe i just need someone to talk to......

***

2 comments:

Juanita said...

Hey, be strong. I know how it feels, having so many and yet having noone. I won't say you'll be fine but you'll come through. You could talk if you wanna.

GaGaPosh said...

Thanks =)