Hello??

iWrite because i can. Because i have two hands and ten (very beautiful) fingers that allow me to write. Because i have thoughts in my head that i want to write. Because i'm not quite sane. Because i am me :)

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Birthday Suit

I have an alarming lack of sleepwear
I went out and got one. Its a sleepshirt. Pink, black stripes.. and mickey mouse. #NothingSpecial.


Let me be the first to say that.. i don't like my body.
i look slim... but i really am not.
I hate my tummy. i could give you a million reasons/excuses why i hate it and why it is the way it is, but the bottom line would still be how much i hate it.
I hate my skin.. i have terrible skin, and its not just my facial skin.


But
i LOVE to sleep naked.
It started back in boarding school in Nigeria. During a fierce heatwave, when it felt like the fans were blowing hot air against my already inflamed body. I couldn't take it. I took off my clothes.. everything except my panties, lay body down and slept.
I liked it. 
and even when the temperature returned to its normal state, i kept at it.
I spiced it up.
Sometimes i took a shower just before bed, then flung my dripping wet body on the bed and dozed off. That was the absolute best.
Sometimes, i woke up, lathered myself in body cream and put on one of my numerous pairs of thongs. It made me feel sooo damn good. i literally used to daydream in class about going to bed.
Sometimes my friends teased... but no one ever really complained ( i wonder why??)


        Boarding school flew by and i found myself at home. I couldn't really sleep nude at home. I had two small sisters who crawled into bed with me almost every night. Plus my parents didn't really believe in knocking, and they didn't believe my room should be locked either, i was also a late sleeper and later riser. basically, it was way to complicated to navigate and i got used to my sleepwear again
College rolled around, i definitely wasn't going to sleep naked with an unfamiliar roomie, who knew what kind of lesbian tendencies she could have had ( thankfully none lol)


I couldn't bring myself to sleep naked though.. shyness maybe? 
This was the period in my life where i actually began to notice the slight bump in my tummy, the varying hue in my skin tone, the weight gain... and dare i say it? the stretch-marks ( damn weather and junk food).
I began to feel like a huge blob. 
So i didn't sleep naked, i slept in a little as i could... tiny tank-tops, extremely short shorts and even in just my under-wear on extremely good days.
Come summer 2010 a.k.a  Hell on Earth.
Did you guys feel that heat? i spent the bulk of it in Hamilton. Ooooh my Lordy, the breeze was warm and sticky, even the rain was hot!!!!
It was straight back to my familiar routine of taking a cold shower and flinging my gloriously wet body onto the bed. Yippie!!!
Then i moved to get ready for uni, i crashed at so many different places and you don't expect me to sleep naked all over town do ya?? lol
Uni starts, got an apartment blah blah blah...




    One day, too lazy to change, i fall asleep in only my panties. and i slept better than i had in a looonng while.. and i woke up with a smile on my face.
And so it continues... 
There's this amazing feeling i get, from feeling the air on my bare skin
I feel like such a sex-kitten 
Hot, sexy and naked in bed
Sometimes wet.. sometimes oiled up
I feel confident
I run my hands up and down my luxuriously long legs
Toss, turn and muddle my sheets up.
Pulling my fingers through my hair
over and over again...
feeling like such a queen
I never touch myself though 
Never ever.
i believe God created the male species for a reason.
Its Adam and Eve,
not Madam and Eve,
not Adam and Steve
and definitely not a solo human. he created a pair.
A hammer can never do the job of a screwdriver, at least not perfectly.
And a screw cannot magically enter a hole by itself, it's fellow screw cannot help it get into the hole and a hammer might get it in but it gonna be ruined.
So invest in a screwdriver than make do with a hammer.
But i digress 
This post has been rather scattered, random, a little bit off-point and now i can't remember the point i was trying to make, so i shall just end here.
Sorry about all the #Tags. Clear effects of twitter.




                                                              *Kisses*


P.S
Firstly, This is MY blog. Emphasis on 'MY'. If you don't like it, don't read it. 
Secondly, I do not live to please anyone (#Subliminal)
Thirdly, I recently found out i have haters (surprising innit), if you are one of them or you think badly about me/ any of my blogs , kindly adhere to the following instructions


   *Jump into the nearest river/canal/ocean/ body-of water and swim to babylon. If it just so happens that you are in babylon already, please swim to australia instead.*
Let me know how the trip goes.
         
                                                              ..::GaGa::..

Friday, October 29, 2010

A Lying DramaQueen

I'm not sure how i feel right now.
Numb? Yes
Shocked? Yes
Tearful? Very.......


       A rumor gets halfway around the world while the truth is still putting his shoes on.
Assuming i did all you heard i did?
Above all things, i'm you're friend. At least i thought i was. If the whole world had their backs turned against me, i certainly did not expect to see you there. Everyone makes mistakes.....so i can't be forgiven? i can't? really?


      But then again i told you i definitely did NOT do any of those.
and you didn't believe me.
I never lie to you, even when i should. I'd rather not say anything at all, than to lie to you.
     ''You're Lying'', you said.
     '' I don't believe you and you're lying''.
That was when the first tear fell.
     ''So many holes in your story''.
     ''You're not making sense''.
You wonder why i was silent?
You wonder why i choked on my words??
I cried.
Not because you were right, but because i could not believe that you of all people would throw those words at me. That you were so willing to think the worst of me.
I thought we were in a good place.
I thought we were stronger than that.
but thats just me... thinking wrong again.
If at all everything else went wrong between us, i thought we'd be friends till the end.
I thought i'd always be able to call on you in my darkest hours.. and that you'd answer.
Me and my stupid thoughts, the joke's on me.


  You said i bring drama to your life. 
wow.
   I am a drama-queen. I accept that, everyone knows that. but thats not the drama you meant.
Do you know?
      What i went through?
       What i still go through?
because of you???
because i loved you???
       No, you don't.
and you never will.
        Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh.          
              You want me out of your life? i'll go. and i'll take my drama and lies with me.
Don't kick me out like some dog. i'll walk.
I'll walk far and fast and i won't stop till you're happy.
    I did learn a lesson from all this though. Never go after something you clearly were not meant to have.
This is an ode,
to a friendship that was doomed from inception. 
We were all too blind to notice.