I Write Because I Crush

The sweetest,most distracting thing in this world.Crushes come in so many forms,they start in so many ways.

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A smile from a stranger,a face in a magazine or even on a billboard or t.v,even a friend or acquaintance,perhaps you looked a their faces a bit differently  for no real reason.

It might not even be a face, sometimes,you hear a persons voice,you read a persons words and it feels like a match made in heaven.

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No matter the kind of crush you have,the feelings are always the same.Love (what you think is love but is actually lust),Desire,Longing..and the Forbidden feeling of crushing after something thats not yours,something that you want so badly to belong to you,an almost painful yearning.

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Your thoughts are occupied by this person,you feel a sudden connection to this person,you want to know more about this fascinating person,you imagine a whole personality for your crush.

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Crushes bring an extra spring to your step,a blush to your cheeks,smiles are never far from your lips,your feet keep tapping to the senseless toneless tune that you cant seem to stop humming,the last thing on your mind before you fall asleep,they possess all your dreams and still remain the first thing on your mind when you awake,time has no meaning or boundary,it just you and your crush.

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Crushes are ever so distracting,you leave the taps on,burn your food,leave your iron on,misplace every single thing you own,forget even the simplest things like your own phone number....yet,you don't notice these things,they make no difference to you because you have a crush and thats all that matters.

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You idolize your crush,your crush is faultless in your eyes,you make up excuses for all their flaws,ignore it even,blame the flaw,blame the world as long as its not your crush, everything is gonna be just fine.

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And because most of the time,your crushee never actually knows he/she is being crushed on,you admire from a distance,if the person is already your friend,thats makes it all the better.You read meaning into every word or touch....create fantasies out the words...

Every day,you look forward to seeing the crush,imagining great things happening,and then wen you finally see the person............

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NOTHING HAPPENS!!!!

(surprised?)

because its all been in your head,all the feeling,emotion,everything isn't real and you feel a crushing disappointment and a brief defeat to the real world..and for a microscopic second your come back to senses and realize that you are being irrational and you lick your wounds a bit.....but only for a microscopic second...then it all starts again..

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on and on and on and on

..the cycle keeps spinning

then one day

STOP

You realize that your crush is nowhere as amazing as you thought they were,that they aren't as good looking,or as fun or nice as you thought.

They might be downright annoying even.

You realize how dumb you've been.

then you promise never to do that to yourself again

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Until you meet your next crush

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And even if you were lucky enough to get your crush

it'll never work out,you know why??

cuz crushes are too real,you have so much emotions already,all the longing,want,Lust,

the tiny bit of relationship you have with your crush will never be able to stand,because you'd already have so many high expectations.

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To crush or not to crush????

I cannot stop watching trey songz -I invented sex

and Lady Gaga-Bad Romance
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Happy buffdae Lloyd Henry Umeh!!

xoxo

....:::Gaga:::...